Look at me go! It has been nine days since I last wrote. That means I have been feeling good for the last nine days. I have barely taken any of my anxiety medication, mainly just at night when the thoughts creep in to steal my sleep. 

I'm trying not to analyze what this means because I certainly don't want to say that I'm coming to acceptance. That seems like I'm okay with the current situation, which I most definitely am not. But I do want to analyze what might be helping me be "okay." What has changed?

The first thing that changed was my best friend since fourth grade stopped by to give me a hug and show support. I had no idea when I opened the door that seeing Wanda was going to spark such calmer emotions in me. Spending time with her reminded me of our lifelong bond and soothed my heart like I didn't think possible. Thanks, Wanda, for showing up for me, always.

The other thing that changed is going to the gym to work out. I started with the treadmill and circuit training on my own, but then the girls and I tried the Bungee class. The next day, I went to an In Motion class, followed by a Sweet and Low class, and a yoga class. Now, I've been to seven classes total, and I can tell I'm getting stronger. Having a goal to reach for must be one way to handle the stress. Moving my body must also create endorphins that help me cope. 

 Probably, the biggest reason I'm feeling so much better is the fact that Zach's new treatment plan is allowing him to enjoy his family and to resume his life. He has worked in his vineyard, mowed his lawn, played frisbee with the kids, taken them on walks, and played board games with them. Just knowing he is enjoying life has made these last days so much easier.

Tomorrow is the benefit put together by Healthy Dent County. Knowing that our community "has Zach's back" also makes it easier. The amount of donations and effort being put into this event is beyond my wildest dreams. I know it makes this mama's heart swell and makes Zach's fight easier to bear.

Lastly, just knowing how many people are praying for us and thinking about us has also lightened our load.

In short, nothing about this journey has become easier. The diagnosis is the same. The uncertainty is the same. The fear still visits.

What's different is that I've been reminded that I don't have to carry all of it by myself.

A friend showed up at my door. My body is getting stronger. Zach is living, laughing, working, and making memories with his family. Our community has wrapped its arms around us. And every day, people continue to pray.

Maybe that's what has helped me breathe again.

Thank you, Salem Community, friends, and family, for carrying pieces of this burden with us. You may never fully know what your kindness has meant, but please know that it has made a difference.